This Guest Post is part of my SELF Love February series by one of the smartest women I know, Kia of the blog Bodhi Bear (@bodhi_bear). Kia is a green lifestyle yogini who in my opinion always sees the positive side of any situation. In this post she shares her tips for finding the greatest love of all: SELF Love.
(If you would like to share your journey towards SELF Love, then check out my guidelines here.)
The path of self love is as individual as everyone and the myriad combination of mental tricks we play on ourselves. Self-sabotage is what many of us do in lieu of self-love. There is not a specific trick to finding your own path but here are a few tips to at least get sight of it.
I do not know the x,y, or z of why your self-esteem is not blowing through the roof. Everyone does have a little x,y, or z that can be painful to them. When you dig deep can you point a finger at whoever you cannot resolve an issue or feeling with? It could be a parent, some other relative, a partner (current or past), perhaps yourself?
When you get to the root of an issue that may or may not be resolved, the best gift you can give yourself is forgiveness to whoever has done you wrong at some point. I am not saying be a door mat to whoever you come across in your present life. However for actions done in the past you will find true forgiveness will alleviate you of some of your current pain.
At the core of each of us we have our values. If you do not know yours off the top of your head then spend some time with yourself becoming reacquainted. These values can be aligned with your faith, in spite of your faith, very personal or something you are still exploring. If you are not already living a value-driven life then forgive yourself for not doing so, then begin in the present.
Much like weight loss, training for an endurance race, or starting any other big project you begin with baby steps – so walk your walk. If you misstep then get right back on your path.
BELIEVE THAT YOU DESERVE
You deserve to be on the path to follow your bliss. I wish there was a magic potion I could bottle that would instantly give you this belief. I would make a bajillion dollars overnight. However I do believe that it is in wishing for unattainable goals that many of us are mired in not knowing what to believe.
Look at your present life and fall in love with it again. Can you find gratitude here right now? When you can then you can honestly put your present in perspective. If there are things you are dissatisfied with then honestly know where to start to get to where you want to go.
Getting right with yourself at your core will make every sunset that much prettier, every piece of chocolate that much tastier, and every bubble bath that much more luxurious. This is hard work in getting right with yourself but it sets you up for successes when you are working to improve your physical appearance, your relationships, or your professional career.
If you are not there yet then at least catch yourself when you do actions that actually harm yourself. If you find yourself gossiping then stop and ask why you are so consumed with having to spill business that is not your own. If you are envious of another then stop to ask why you want to covet something that is not yours. If you are mean to someone you love then stop to ask how this is a reflection of how you view yourself.
We are human with all kinds of imperfect foibles. We can spend each day being miserable or we can put this beautiful ability to reason to work. And we can make it work to help us on the path to self-love.